What does that really mean? Our reality. We often want what we don’t have. We often have what we don’t want. Huh? We see a new car; we want it. We feel tired, we don’t want that. We can break our lives down to many wants, and “not wants”. Ultimately, most of our current circumstances is due to a path that we’ve created. It’s because of choices we’ve made along the way. If you want to change the path, change your choices.
But, why is that important?
I treat a lot of patients with various conditions, such as neck pain, back pain, migraines, tension headaches, stress, obesity and more. Sometimes, the pain is due to an accident; while other times, it’s due to inactivity and lack of exercise. There are people that are sad when it’s cloudy, and others that love rainy days. Either way, you have to be okay. You’re sad because it’s cloudy? Really? Sometimes we don’t even realize how we’re behaving or allowing external events to control our thoughts and behavior. It’s important for this very reason; we are allowing things that “happen” to us, or external events to control how we feel, and even how we behave.
Being conscious, or “mindful” is the first step to solving the dilemma of being at “effect” of your environment and circumstances, rather than being in “control” of your life. Once you’re conscious of the problem; pain, lack of money, being overweight, bad relationship, etc. you can begin a path of creating your own reality. You’ll stop blaming others for your circumstances and start taking responsibility for your own life. You truly can create your own reality.
Create my own reality? It’s overcast and rainy; can I make it sunny? Of course not. But you can create enjoying the overcast and rain. Perhaps this is a great time to cozy up with that book you’ve been wanting to read, or try a new recipe in the cookbook you bought 2 years ago and haven’t opened since the day you bought it. The point is, it’s how you look at it; it’s literally how you respond to events and circumstances in your life.
It’s Not Always Rosy
Life can be difficult sometimes, that’s a fact. You may have just been fired from your job, or let go due to no fault of your own. You may be dealing with physical pain after an accident, or emotional pain following the death of a loved one, it’s hard – sometimes really hard. But, even then, we can let ourselves fall into despair, or work through the pain and do everything possible to get back on our feet. How we handle these difficult times says more about us then when things are going great.
How To Get What We Really Want
A lot of times, the things we want are hard to get. If you’re 100 pounds over your ideal weight and want to lose 100 pounds, that’s not easy. It’s doable, but not easy. How bad you want it, will determine whether or not you’ll achieve your goal. You didn’t gain the weight overnight, so it will take time. Most people get frustrated and give up before ever achieving their goal. This doesn’t only apply to losing weight, it applies to many things in life.
After getting my black belt in Kyokushin Karate (it took me 4 years), I wondered how many people actually achieved that goal. I read varying statistics, but basically it’s anywhere from 50-100 people out of 10,000 that start karate classes. During many of our vigorous classes, I’ll often say to fellow students who are gasping for breath (I usually am too), that “if it were easy, everyone would be doing it”. Watching television shows about Navy Seal training you’ll often hear the instructors mention that 90% of getting through the harsh training is in the head. Young men, in amazing shape quit at various times throughout the course when others don’t. Why is that? Our minds are very powerful, we can let our self-limiting thoughts get the better of us. Our minds may be saying “quit, you don’t need this— this is ridiculous, why are you suffering when all you have to do is stop”. Now, I’m not saying I have what it takes to become a Navy Seal, and many of those young men quit, when their bodies truly gave out. But, many quit because their minds gave up.
For most of us, our goals are not as difficult as the Navy Seal training I’ve described, we really have no excuse. I truly believe that we quit, because we never really thought about the fact that we’re really in charge, we’re in control. Going into a goal, with that mindset; the one where YOU CREATE YOUR OWN REALITY will give you a better shot at hitting any goal you set your mind to. Our destiny is up to us.